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Beware this is a long rant on being a mom!

November 13th, 2006 at 04:08 am

I wonder what I am going to do with myself after my kids are grown and out of the house. I swear everything I do, say, buy and feel is in regards to my girls. Everyday after school there are 3 girls that their parents aren't home when they get home from school and they come straight to our house. They watch t.v. or get on the computer. They talk loud and laugh loud. Sometime I have to open the door and tell them to go outside and play. This friday night I let 3 girls spend the night. They stayed most of Sat. morning. Then I let two of the same girls spend the night on Sat. I made a fire in our chimnea for them and let them run the house. Then today my neighbor and I went to the Humane Society for orientation so that our girls can volunteer there. Then we took them to the movies. Of course my husband is in GA hunting or I probably would not have allowed all this due to him wanting peace and quiet. Then next weekend is DD2's slumber party for her bday and she told me that she passed out her 12 invites and then gave out 2 more that she wrote on notebook paper!! I know. It is my fault. I am putting a stop to it because I am going cuckoo. I told DD2 that from now on the girls go home after school and get their snacks and relax for awhile and then they need to take turns going to each others houses. Also sleepovers only every other week. God it feels good to rant about this. Oh, and DD1 is 16 and she thinks she is going on 25. Aren't I mean, I will not let her curfew be 2:00 a.m. like some of the other girls she knows (or so she says) I will also not let her spend the night at anyone's house because I know how other girls tell their parents they are spending the night somewhere and then they go crash at 20 yr olds apartments. She cannot believe that I don't trust her. Let's face it. Teenagers will be teenagers. I was one once after all and guess what, I was a bad one! Too bad for DD1 because I know all the tricks.

7 Responses to “Beware this is a long rant on being a mom!”

  1. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Our house is alot like yours. My kids are 24, 22, 21 and 14...boy, when the three oldest were teens....it was constant kids here. (Even now with just one, there are always kids here!!)

    I love that my kids all enjoyed bringing their friend here...I was able to keep an eye on them---and thankfully, they pretty muched bypassed any teen drugs and alcohol.

    Setting limits is not a bad idea...Looking back, more one-on-one time with the kids would have been nice. (Although those latch-key kids really appreciated a surrogate home/mom to come home to!!)

    Bottom line, it goes much too quickly--- So do what is right for your family!

  2. janH Says:

    I hear you on teenagers! I love my kids dearly, but those years are a mixed blessing. You enjoy them so much, but they do things that make you gray! I thought my DD would be the easy one, but she wasn't. Someone once told me that boys were harder to deal with in preteen and girls were harder as teenagers. I thought they were kidding. Nope. But they are good kids and I'm proud of them.
    As for the time after they leave, you will be able to plan your schedule more around you and your husband. And it sounds like you are close to your kids, so I have a feeling you will see them. This year both kids came home to surprise me for my birthday on different days, bringing loads of gifts. It's enough to make you cry. I am slowly letting go and it is bittersweet at times. It's like when they are little and begin a new stage--I mourn the old one and get excited about the new one. I just can't get over how they are changing.
    Setting limits is a good thing. We used to have a lonely little girl want to come over every day after school. We needed some regular family time, too. Although I didn't mind the girlfriend of my then high school son who hung out over here a lot of evenings. She was just so nice and unobtrusive and sweet, you didn't mind her being here. You must be a wonderful mom if all the kids want to come and stay with you. But take care of yourself, too! As for those tricks they pull, I got taken a bunch of times. I think Hubby was the one who knew what they were up to! I'd like to say it was because I was so sick during that time, but I have a feeling I was just naive. They had their share of dumb stuff!
    I think I hear my mother laughing.........

  3. happyzookeeper Says:

    Wow! Your house sounds like our house! My 13 year old thinks I'm mean because his friends get to completely run. I want to know where he is 24/7. I won't allow him to o o a house without parents home. He hates it as his friends are free! I have had dozens of kids spend the night without ever meeting or talking to a parent.

    I'm with you on being a bad teenager so I know what is possible. Hang in there!

  4. LuxLiving Says:

    I'm with you - my last two at home are now 18 and 20....the sound you hear is of apron strings being cut. I too wonder what I'm to do with myself these days ahead.

  5. campfrugal Says:

    My kids are 21, 14 and 12. I have given them all the talk, depending on where their maturity level is, that the choices they make over the next 10 years decides whether they will be on the right track or sitting in jail. I teach them to say "No" and I am always questioning them. They are all on a "Cell Phone" teather, which I call often. If they don't answer, I go and get them, cause I usually know where they are at, and they have to come home (with the exception of my 21 yo now). I just let them kow that there is something they are going to want from me, so be careful how you treat the bank.

    All kdding aside though, they are tough years and we just need to remain positive and know that they want to hang with their friends and are very very curious about the everygrowing life around them. Set boundaries and consequences for crossing those boundaries and stick to them. It is tough love, but it works. Knock on wood, I haven't had any trouble.

    Ny biggest thing now is, I take my time before answering their questions, which drives them crazy. But, I just want to be sure that I am reading their question carefully, so I ask a lot of questions first. My 21 yo just asked me if I have ever been in a physical fight. We discussed why he felt he needed to know that and then I crossed it carefully with a No, and that if something can be talked out, then physical violence is unnecessary.

    I just try to stay one step a head of them, a challenge in itself.

    As for food, I hear ya there. My rule, everyone goes home after school, does their homework, eats a snack, has a potty break and then calls to see if we don't have anything planned. Nice rule. It gives me time to talk to my children after school and cover their time away from me. Usually, they know the schedule and every once in a while, a child comes home with mine, but they have to learn spontenaety also.

    Ahh, the life of a teenager. Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

  6. kashi Says:

    It's a tough balance, being strict and careful but not too strict. My parents were much more strict with me than any of my friends' parents were with them. Once I got to college and finally tasted freedom, I went nuts.

    I admire you for being such a welcoming parent! I'm sure those kids will remember it.

  7. Over My Head Says:

    Wow! It's nice to know that there are others out there just like me! Thanks everyone for putting your two cents in and letting me see that some of us are all on the same page. I've said to my daughters a few times that I hope they do for my future grandchildren what I have done for them. Right now my teenager doesn't like me much (or so she says) but I am sure she will realize when she is older just how lucky she was.

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